Writings

Writings from Across the Web

Every so often, I come across a writing I like and I wish I could hold onto it forever. Sometimes it’s a legitimate piece of crafted work and sometimes it’s a conversation that I wish I could hold onto. Well, here is the place and now is the time. With the writer’s/storyteller’s permission, I will share their words with you. Stay tuned.

Papa Bear

Writing – So you posted a picture and now you think you’re kinky…

Attorney Lady Steele

Consent Has Been Added to the MPC!


Papa Bear

This first writing comes from Fetlife by a brilliant writer with the username, _Papa-Bear_

Papa Bear works in the Sexual Health realm of Public Health and is also a BDSM and Sexual Health Educator. He has been an active part of the BDSM Community for over a decade and has enjoyed sharing his journey from hiding his sexuality due to shame to BDSM ambassador. You can read more about his journey in the world of BDSM and his opinions on relationships, BDSM dynamics, sex, health, politics and more at https://fetlife.com/users/5273655.

So you posted a picture and now you think you’re kinky...
So you think you’re kinky?

You think you’re kinky because you like to show naked pictures of yourself? You think that a little light choking means you’re into it huh? Oh, so your partner spanked you a bit and you liked it, so that makes you into BDSM?

Well, you’re right.

BDSM and Kink aren’t competitions. Someone that practices needle play while suspended with wax dripping from a candle in their ass isn’t more deserving of being in the community than someone that enjoys spanking in the bedroom only when the kids are at a friend’s house. If you like to be suspended from bamboo while gagged, that's great. If you use a tie to bind a partner's hands to the bed post, that's great too! We all belong here regardless of how much we explore.

Tired of all the (mostly) women posting naked pictures to promote their only fans? Tough, exhibitionism is kinky. So what if they make money off it too? People have made money off of Dominating others for a long time. That’s generally accepted in the BDSM community. If you don’t want to financially support, don’t. It’s still kinky. Would you rather see more extreme forms of BDSM on K&P? I would too. So hit “love” on those things more. It's ok to have a preference, but don’t pretend the other images and videos don’t belong here, too.

All that said, I do believe this space is for people that practice BDSM and/or are kinky. It’s in the name (FETish Life). Fetlife has a lot of people just looking to hook up for some vanilla sex, and in my opinion this space isn’t for them. There are tons of other spaces for that. Match.com, Tinder, Bumble, actual bars, college, work, church and pretty much all other aspects of general society. This is our space, and just as Fetlife isn’t for vanilla people, neither are our public play spaces. I’ve been to clubs that don’t do a great job of vetting and at times people show up to gawk at the sexual deviants. If you’re a voyeur, by all means come watch, voyeurism and exhibitionism are kinky, but we’re not a zoo attraction. The laughter, pointing and gawking from someone that just came to see the oddities is insulting, inappropriate, immature and shaming.

Now, if you’re not sure why you’re here, but something has drawn you here. Something makes you feel tingles when you look at all of this. Well, you belong here too. You don’t have to be actively practicing kink or BDSM to be kinky. You don’t have to know what you like yet. You don’t have to have a partner. You don’t have to ever participate actively. If you enjoy what you see, you’re in the right place.

Attorney Lady Steele

This writing comes following Episode 63 – Let’s get Serious: Potential Changes to BDSM and the Law with Lady Steele. You can read more of her multiple writings, find her upcoming appearances, link to her multiple classes, and listen to other podcasts she’s been on covering many topics at

This writing comes following Episode 63 – Let’s get Serious: Potential Changes to BDSM and the Law with Lady Steele. You can read more of her multiple writings, find her upcoming appearances, link to her multiple classes, and listen to other podcasts she’s been on covering many topics on her FetLife page at https://fetlife.com/users/72248.

Lady Steele is a femme lesbian Alpha leather slave. She is an international presenter and resides in Atlanta where she is the only out, open, and practicing attorney in the southeast that specializes in the issues that are unique to the BDSM and ENM communities. She is the founder of the Center of Learning and School of Success (C.L.A.S.S.), the Worthless Bastards (Cigar) Club (W.B.C. – Atlanta), and The Leather Coterie (T.L.C.). She proudly leads the West Inclusive Georgia Socials (WINGS) group. She held the position of Social Coordinator for NLA – Atlanta during its last incarnation in Atlanta. She continues to give back to the community as co-producer of the SEPE title contest, Board Support for the Leather Leadership Conference, Treasurer of the Anafiel House, and through multiple appearances on several podcasts. Lady Steele is also a proud member of Onyx Pearls – Southern Leather.

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